Fever comes again

Huuufff....Fever comes again to my Body...I hate you Fever...Go awayyyyy.........
Huffff.....My Body is Aching.....Go away from my body.....

I Love my Mother Mary

Thank you Mother Mary for listening to all of my feeling and stories today at Church. It is only You who wants to hear me and give me Your advices. I will always try my best to lighten up my life and go through all of the problems. Just hold me tight to Your hands, My Mother Mary.....Love You...Muaccchhhh

SSssssTTtttt.....

Blue Butterfly is enjoying the quietness and silence in her home.......huh.....so many things that Blue Butterfly keeps inside her heart and really wish that someone will fully understand. Maybe it's only My Father in Heaven will fully understand my feeling. I want to love you more and more, My Lord. Because it is only You who will always love me and never let me go no matter what is happening.

It is painful when someone is letting you go. Maybe it's just a "Karma" for what I had done 2 years ago. Have mercy on me, My Lord. I accept the punishment. Grant me peace and love in my life.

SILENCE

Suddenly I feel so sad and lonely.......what is happening with my life??? I want my life back....give me back my life.....
one said " If you can't forget your past, then buried it inside your heart and make it become parts of the vitamin that flows inside your body and let it become a memory".

MUSIC THAT FILLED MY QUIET DAY

FEVER......GO AWAY....

Blue Butterfly suffered the up and down fever complex for two days. The whole body is aching, especially when it is time to bed and get up from bed. Suddenly in this moment, Blue Butterfly really feels extremely tired for being independent. But, whom can I go to rest myself???
No one.....so only My Father in Heaven.

Go away Fever.....So i can work more and more and forget everything....

MOTHER VS DAUGHTER

Blue Butterfly is thinking : Is it normal to have different vision and opinions with your own mother??

Blue Butterfly always has the same vision of life and behavior with her mom, but not until now when she is growing up and having her own vision of life which give her happiness and peacefulness. Unfortunately, as a mother, they sometimes are not able to accept those differences and changes in their own daughter's life. The reason is because they love their children so so much and they want to give the best that they can. But what is the best for our mother, is it also the best for ourself?? But when Blue Butterfly tries to explain this circumstances, her mom always said that what she is thinking and doing are all wrong things.

Blue Butterfly was reflecting herself recently and she feels that why those things that her mom thinks are wrong , are actually giving her happiness in life???
Blue Butterfly trully understands her mom's feeling and tries her best to make her happy, but at the end it is God's and her own decision to choose which way she wants to go. Hopefully one day her mom can accept and bless her daughter's decision.

" I just need some space, mom to pursue my own life and destiny, although it might caused something bad to me. Because I believe God will never ever leave me behind. Just see me as a growing up daughter and try to give me some freedom to do what I believe is a good things. But there will be only one important thing that you will always be the best mother I have ever had, no matter what decision I am taking".

LOVE = GIVE + GIVE

LOVE = GIVE + GIVE is a quote from the friend of Blue Butterfly. She is totally agree with this statement, which God also teaches us to live this way.

Does it mean that Blue Butterfly must give up to what she believes as her destiny of happiness???
It is true that Love must have 2 people who want to work it out together. While the other part is letting go, then should I really let go now, O Lord??? Is it actually what you want me to do??? Should I give up now???

GOD'S RESPONSE THROUGH MY LOVING MOTHER MARY

" God's response always related to the fruit of the Holy Spirit - Joy, Peace, Love, Patience and Charity. It never leads us to the unnecessary things. But. sometimes we need purification in order to get and feel better things. God said that not to build a house on the sandy ground. He also said when we hold on to a plough, do not look back but plough it through. Just trust Him. God will send us back together if we are meant to be ".

This is what Blue Butterfly received after her rosary to our loving mother Mary and mother of Fatimah in Novena Church.

Give more of your answers to my prayer , O Lord

MISS MY LIFE IN THE PAST

Someone in the movie said :

" I miss my life in the past when I could have the people that I love with me. I miss my personality in the past when I always talked and told stories non stop with my loved one, I laughed and shout loudly when I was happy and was baking cake with my friends, and I always being bubbly and had spirit to do all my works. But that life and personality do not bring me into better life right now. That people is leaving me, together with my life, my personality and my dreams.

But I can't be selfish because loving someone means that we sacrifice anything just to see your loved one happy. I am not able to communicate as a friend. Therefore, I will leave your life completely for a few years until I can accept. I just remember I never say SORRY for all the trouble and the pain that I had caused to you and family, and made you feel doubtful. I must see you live with a fruitful and happy life when I see you again in the next few years,so that I will feel grateful with what I have sacrificed. Take care of yourself. Don't sleep too late and no need to be so ambitious to do so many things. Love and take care your family well. Be a good people to serve God always.Be a successful business man. Thank you for everything....."

RECOVER

Blue Butterfly just recovers herself after suddenly having fever in the middle of last night. Fortunately, no more fever this morning, so that Blue Butterfly still can go to work. WORK....WORK...AND WORK HARD...AND PRACTICE HARD....EVERYDAY...

GO SOMEWHERE...

Blue Butterfly :

" I can't cope with myself anymore. I need to go somewhere to clear my mind. Maybe go other country to visit my friends will make me feel better or go to visit a beach will clear my mind ".